It sucks. Haven’t had a paid leave in 6 months.
How does it begin?
“Are you lost or incompetent?” Says the boss as he chews on the pomfret.
When you reach a point where you begin to resent your colleagues, bosses and eventually and actually yourself thanks to your working environment (or so you think). It is best to pack your stuff and walk away (preferably with permission)
What are the reactions?
“Saale, we had a deal, ki hum saath mein chhod ke jaenge” – Friend who has no plans whatsoever to leave the company, recently moved nearby.
“Oh we’ve done so much for him, that’s so ungrateful” – says boss who asked him if he wanted to switch teams and said lol no jk when he agreed.
“I’m very happy for you” – says colleague in hope of a promotion now that another senior employee has quit.
“Yaar, even I want to quit” – says employee who’s seen checked in over the weekend chilling with the bosses on their family trip.
“I knew it he wasn’t trustworthy, and that he’ll leave us when he gets the chance, I knew it two years ago when he joined, this generation I tell you. All the clients secretly hated him too, they just praised him because logic” – says boss who predicts employee futures but doesn’t know when brands switch agencies.
“I had a feeling, I barely saw you around” – says colleague who just returned from a 10-day vacation.
“I knew he was incapable the moment I hired him, when I gave him a hike from his previous company, I knew this was going to be a mistake. And that’s why I hired him for a leadership role and didn’t give him a team! That proved me right!” – Boss who leads by example, his own.
“He’ll come crawling back, no one else will hire him” – says top management guy who tells employee he’s always welcome back.
“How can you leave us? We hired you to do something completely opposite of your skill set!” Says condescending management guy while walking away to smoke with his best friend who just happens to work on the only over-staffed account.
Coming to terms with leaving: Boss edition
Let’s badmouth him to the people who love him, so that no one helps him get hired. Also, keep an eye on him to ensure that he isn’t happy in his next organisation. Then we’ll call him to join us back.
Why the employee quits: Boss edition
He’s being poached!
He got a better offer.
He thinks WE aren’t good enough for HIM now? Bleh
Why he actually quits:
I haven’t seen my friends in months. I should start meeting them more often before another WhatsApp group intervention.
My girlfriend will leave me.
My family will disown me. I’m barely home and when I am, I’m cranky from work.
I’m incredibly unfit and my back hurts all the time. Maybe I should take a break and figure the cause out. Internet tells me scary things.
My company clearly doesn’t appreciate my work, most likely they hired me for the wrong reasons. Maybe they should hire someone better suited than me to meet their ridiculous expectations.
I will Finally start writing that book! (lol jk)
I always wanted to be an actor, you know.
Just last day in the company things:
Speech Speech Speech! Says office clown who just wants to slide in comments to seek social approval.
How does it feel to have worked here – asks HR praying in her head that he doesn’t say the truth.
He’s such a cool guy – says someone. I don’t know.
“I hope that cake has rum.” thinks man who’s pretending to be interested in the speech
“Arre cake khaane de chal.” says friend who’s mentally having a breakdown watching his friend leave him alone.
“Arre bolna” – management guy hoping employee stutters and fumbles to prove that he was never good enough.
“Wah kya speech tha!” – says colleague who happily ignored client calls as he had the farewell to blame.
“What did I miss?” colleague who went for tea.
You wanna do the same tedious no-prowess-needed tasks you resented for more money, perks and better timings? Client who called him to replace his junior manager who’s friends with the employee.
“What do you mean how different will your job be from your previous place? You’ll have more onus!” says enraged manager who thinks out of said onus.
Once an employee always an employee, (we try to ensure that)
You’re always invited! (Good riddance)
Meanwhile, local man who quit job for soul-searching joins another company out of monetary desperation and an x% hike. OR rants out in a part-fact part-fiction (not really) complete-rage article on his new website while looking for freelance gigs.