Sometimes I feel so many Bollywood movies in the 90s were made by virgins.

And people who hadn’t discovered pornography. Maybe they were just too proud to admit it.

‘Movie mein sex dikhaenge. SEX’

We’re the same industry who revolutionised the lack of sex among Indians.

There was always a lack. They just reminded them that there is.

If you think I’m exaggerating, then remember we are the same people who used two flowers wiggling against each other to signify kissing.

I wonder, maybe the had a handbook?

1 flower moving : Masturbation

2 flowers: Kissing

Multiple flowers: Orgy

Earlier I felt that maybe the filmmakers didn’t want the young viewers to understand what was going on and the adults to get a hint and get subtle erections.

But now it’s slightly evident that they probably themselves had little ideas.

Imagine a director briefing an actor in the 80s.

“Sir, abhi aapka sex scene shoot hone wala hai! Aapko heroine ke nazdeek jaana hai aur…

…aur?

Aur baaki ka gardener sambhal lega”

Almost every romantic movie had a stereotypical set of sequences;

Guy & Girl falling in true love circumstantially.

1. Both wanting intimacy but were halted by the fact that they weren’t married yet.

2. Both go through extreme scenarios to ensure that they get married.

3. They have a rose covered bed where they decide to take the family forward.

4. The next morning the dude is snoring away while the girl wakes up, gets ready, makes tea and serves it to her hubby with dripping hair. Often led by a morning-wood led drag-into-the-bed for round two.

Everything other plot twist is just a premise. The main objective is to get the prodigal couple consummate their relationship.

Plus they conveniently ignore the aftermath. Is the girl in any pain after her first-time? Did the guy get a little too excited? Nothing.

Imagine a situation where the girl is up and the morning-wood led dude tries to pull her in for round two and she just snaps at him.

“Gandu, yaha chalne mein takleef ho rahi hai aur tujhe tharak jaag raha hai?”

Now this would be realistic cinema.

–

Another weird trait I realised in movies while writing this article is that in most such stereotypical movies the romance leads up to flowers mingling, or a chinaware statue of a baby or more flowers or pretty lights.

Whereas if there’s a scene involving sexual assault or abuse that’s given more screen-time and much unneeded detail.

Which is weird largely because in the Indian culture where sex is taboo and sex ed is largely a myth (And I’m talking especially in the 80s & 90s). The only insight the young movie-watching populace of the country got about sex was through these scenes.

Which who knows how influenced criminals or sociopaths on what sexual intercourse really is and how it is to be achieved.

Adding to the fact that most movies have taught us that the girl never consents for a relationship unless you stalk her, force her, do hopeless romantic gestures among other things.

It’s portrayed that the girl even if unhappy initially, finds happiness and falls in love with the extremist romeo. Where in reality there’s a lot more that goes into it. Mutual Affection, Trust, Compatibility, Lifestyles and so many more things that go into relationships were blatantly ignored (or conveniently skipped) in these movies and some times still are.

The more I think the more I’m scared of what kind of people may have been inspired by these misleading romantic movies.

After all, entertainment is a large part of an Indian upbringing and its impact can’t be questioned.